eve teasing – UdaipurBlog

“I am like any other girl from the beautiful city of Udaipur who was until now proud to be living in this tourist city of India. My recent experience at one of the most popular tourist places and every Udaipurites go-to place, has made me rethink on the safety and freedom of being in the city.

I come from a decently modern family which allows me to roam around in the city with my friends. I obey when my folks say “Don’t go out at night” or “Don’t go out alone”.

What they didn’t say was that whether you would go out during the day or be with other people, if you’re a girl, you may still get teased and feel unsafe.

Feeling unsafe was a pretty new experience for me.

The incidents happened recently (15th March to be precise).

I went to Fatehsagar with my friend to have a cup of coffee at one of the famous coffee joints there. It was around 1 PM. I parked my car and stepped out. 3 boys in a white Volkswagen playing loud music hooted at us. I got irritated but ignored it. (We are Indian girls and should not make a big deal out of such thing. Isn’t it?)

We went to the coffee shop, ordered our coffee and were just trying to chill. That’s when I noticed 2-3 uncles in their 40s with 2 young men in their early 30s sitting on a table across us. One of those uncles smiled and started staring at us continuously. He said something to his friends after which all of them started staring at us. We felt uncomfortable and thought the best was to leave from there. (that’s how Indian girls have been raised). While we were going, one of the ‘uncle’ turned his chair to see us.

We moved out of the place and thought of taking a round of FS. Three 3 boys on a bullet, got ahead of us, turned back and gave me that “girls can’t drive” look as if I am doing a sin driving a car. Really??

That’s not all friends! When we thought of ignoring all it all and going back to our place, 2 boys passing by shouted in Mewari language “Kai Problem Hai Kai” (do you have any problem) and followed us to some distance and went away.

All these incidents happened in a span of an hour and that too at the place that I felt like going at any time.

But now I am reluctant to go to FS irrespective of the time of the day. Thanks to the men of the city!”

The above piece was shared with us by one of our followers who wanted us to share her experience with the fellow Udaipurites – both men and women.

There is nothing unique about the story. And while I write this, I feel disgusted!

Why are these so-called minor eve-teasing incidents common not just in Udaipur but around the country? Do we need to ASK the men in the society to stop doing such acts which I am sure are just for “fun” purpose for them and they do not get anything out of it.

We are not generalising the men community. There are great men too. We don’t actually believe it about all men. Men who are not like this should not take offence if you are not the ones harassing women or objectifying them, or otherwise acting like trash.

But there are enough men who do do those things, and the women in Udaipur encounter them every day.

How to react against eve-teasing?

Through this article, we want to make the people of Udaipur aware of the helpline numbers of the female police patrol team.

You can call on these numbers, drop a message or a WhatsApp for support:

+91-8764855571
+91-8764855572
+91-8764855573
+91-8764855574
+91-8764855575

Save these numbers in your mobile and use them the next time you experience any unpleasant situation on the roads of Udaipur.

Moreover, it should also be a moral duty and responsibility on the passers-by who notice such incident. Report the same to the nearest police station or to Women Helpline.

EVE TEASING: CURSE ON SOCIETY

A lewd stare, a sly whistle, a well-timed clap, an unwarranted bump, a seemingly casual touch, a lingering look at a vulnerable time, cheap gestures, the humming of a suggestive song, passing downright crude comments, bikes flying close with hands stretched to grope you!! Yes, eve teasing can take any form. And the ways an eve teaser can harass a woman is surely endless!

Eve teasing is an awful act that injects shame, fear, disgust and helplessness in the victim. I don’t think it would be wrong if I say that eve teasing has become an inseparable part of every girl’s life. Eve teasing is a common incident, be it in buses, shopping arcades, cinema halls, pubs, restaurants, bus stops, railway booking counters and every other conceivable place. Keeping aside the big metropolitan cities, even in a small beautiful city like Udaipur, it is shocking that the incidents of eve teasing are increasing at an alarming rate.

Udaipur blog recently received a mail from a victim of eve teasing revealing the incident that she experienced while driving a two-wheeler. Since then, our team has been talking to many girls and surprisingly, almost every girl had one or more recent bad experience of being eve teased in one or other way. Crap, what has happened to our city!

Nikita (changed name), an engineering student says “Girls are never safe in the streets. Even waiting for a bus on the University road is made traumatic when sick comments are made by nuisance creatures.” Aditi added to this saying “And in the bus some brainless boys bump into us intentionally.” No doubt, girls have to definitely be on their guard all the time when in the market or a shopping mall. After all, no one knows when and how do the uncivilized people creep in to display their ‘lack of culture’!

Women who are on a vehicle are easy targets; bikes chase them and they get even more hyper if an attempt is made to speed up the vehicle. Rashmi (changed name) described UB Team about how some uncivilized boys ill-behaved while she was driving. “Right from my way from Fatehpura to Sardarpura it was thrice that I faced bikers who passed lewd comments and tried obstructing my path. Limits crossed when one of them pushed me down and got me injured. Eve teasers seek thrill in ripping behind girls in a hazardous manner, proving themselves so-called brave!”

Some people directly accuse dressing of a girl. “Oh! What am I wearing today!” Nidhi, an ex-student of BN Girls College ponders when she sees an eve teaser on the road. “These guys make you conscious even while sporting a decent Salwaar Kameez! We end up getting seriously jacked!”

There is a definite pattern in which an eve teaser behaves. An eve teaser gains confidence when he notices that the girls he abuses do nothing to harm him. He gets even more encouraged by girl’s silence. He enjoys watching the girl spew fiery words on him or squirm in disgust. It is only after he is dragged to the police station that he accepts his fault and pleads for mercy. An interesting aspect here is that an eve teaser will not reveal his address or allow the police to contact his residence. He will do anything as long as he ensures that his family is oblivious to his act of eve teasing.

Real problem is that girls are hesitant to inform their parents about an incident of eve teasing; as they know from past experience that they would be the only ones to be affected adversely. Their activities and clothes would fall under scrutiny; late nights would be curbed, wantonly by strict parents and on a sub-conscious level by parents who are supportive. How ironical!

There are various myths related to eve teasing. One of the biggest points is that eve teasing is propagated by wicked group of people. Absolutely not! He can be any normal looking guy. Next is, if this is ignored, it will go away or solve itself. No! Doing that would in fact encourage the culprit to get even stronger. Another belief, that eve teasers are macho men who accost anyone, is wrong. Eve teasers are cowards by nature and are experts in selecting the right time to target defenseless and meek woman who will not react in an assertive manner against their misdeeds. Lastly, if anyone thinks that talking about facts will solve the problem then, wow! This article will have solved the problem by the time this is published! Unfortunately it’s not that easy.

According to me, an eve teaser having witnessed many incidents of disrespect to women at home might have added to this perversion. It has something to do with their upbringing, or some insecurity in him that he takes out by targeting girls, a tacky way of feeling macho!

I feel that parents should chat with their daughters and ask them to be bold when faced by such an issue and they should also advise their sons to not ever indulge in such cheap acts. Obviously, family values influence one’s character and deeds. Victims can make an eve-teaser sweat by raising a hue and cry immediately. Public reaction and condemnation scares the wits out of the eve-teaser. Every person caught eve teasing should be dealt with in all sternness and there should not be any lenience for first time offenders. The best way to deter stubborn eve teasers who defy and question authority is to produce them before their family and unmask their true instincts. The sense of shame will ensure that they never resort to such a thing again. The public should rush to the aid of the victim girl and a more concrete step would be that of publishing photos of eve teasers in newspapers along with details of their unclean act. Stern follow-up by police would help a lot.

I agree that everyone has a pile of work to attend to, but they have to spare a few moments to take note of these aberrations in society and reprimand the eve teasers sternly, this collective public behavior will go a long way in curbing the menace of eve teasing.